What Do I Get From My 'Failure' Moment?
Well, this is embarassing, but this is life! Life is so damn complicated!
People just see the result without wanna care about the 'process'.
Maybe, I have to know that 'Too high your hope will make you feel TOO DISSAPOINTED'.
At first, I dont really wanna care people's argument about my dreams, I just wanna keep it and work for it.
But, my hardwork doesnt work well as I want for this year's hope. Yes, Im dissapointed, really! But, I dont know, my heart says I cant blame Allah's decision. I trust thing that Allah saves my bright future, but He doesnt give it to me now. I read something yesterday, it said,"If Allah loves you, He gives you such a hard exam of life to test you, do you love Allah as huge as Allah does". Do I receive it with a patient-feel easily?
No, I dont, friends. Im a human too, but I need much more spirit of life. Allah guides me to the right path. Fortunately, although Im in the hard situation, but Allah never brings me to 'dangerous-path' and never gives me hopeless-feel for a long time. That feel just comes for 30 minutes. Then, He gives me such a strong spirit again. He makes me wanna know who's my creator more, who's Allah more. He opens my mind to learn everything about Islam. This is so embarassing, Im muslim, but I still get less knowledges about my own religion, how poor I am.
Suddenly, I followed some Islam Knowledge-Account on Instagram, I followed many Udztadz-Udztadzah's Account on twitter and Instagram, I watched Muslimah Vloggers on Ytb that makes me inspired by their story about their struggle to get know more about Islam, till make me wanna be an Hafidzah. The last one is too much I think. But, I want to be like what Wirda Mansur said in her vlog. Quran is the key of the world. If we make Quran as our life compass, we can open the world and world is in our grasp. I was born with an ambitious-soul and it makes me tired cuz if I am failed, it makes me so stressed. If we trust Allah and let Allah decides what our future gonna be, of course there's no need to worry.
After I did the 'SBMPTN-Test' last April and got a 'bad-news' in last June, I didnt know what I've to do. Yes, Im an unemployment. I was stressed since that bad news was out till last July. In the first week, I always felt hurt for no reason, I always hear some bad words from people around me, I always cried in the night, sit down at the corner of my room with the dark-light and the locked-door. Many bad-thoughts always came into my mind. I thought that SBMPTN was my last reason why I have to live in this world. Once I got failure, I was so stressed. I want live my life happily. Just that.
My Failure moment makes me so stressed. But, Allah has different answer. Allah will give my success to me, but not for now. He opens my mind, my heart, my soul, my point of view, everything in me. Things that I had trusted that those were right apparently WRONG. He makes me live my life becomes calm now. Actually, that is what I need, it's enough. Now, I know how to live with much feel thankful. Theres no thing I have to envious about anymore except being better like what Wirda Mansur, Muzammil, Hamas Syahid, Gita Savitri, Bella Almira do.
I dont wanna be 'WORLD SERVANT' anymore. 18years8months Ive colonized by world, its time for me to be independent. And Allah gives me Independence-soul soooo easily. Alhamdulillaah. Thank you for everything youve given to me, Ya Allah. I trust You are exist, I trust ISLAM is true religion. I pray may I always be istiqomah in Your Way. Aamiin Ya Rabbal Alamin. I just have to trust that everything happens for a reason and I believe that Ill be success.
People just see the result without wanna care about the 'process'.
Maybe, I have to know that 'Too high your hope will make you feel TOO DISSAPOINTED'.
At first, I dont really wanna care people's argument about my dreams, I just wanna keep it and work for it.
But, my hardwork doesnt work well as I want for this year's hope. Yes, Im dissapointed, really! But, I dont know, my heart says I cant blame Allah's decision. I trust thing that Allah saves my bright future, but He doesnt give it to me now. I read something yesterday, it said,"If Allah loves you, He gives you such a hard exam of life to test you, do you love Allah as huge as Allah does". Do I receive it with a patient-feel easily?
No, I dont, friends. Im a human too, but I need much more spirit of life. Allah guides me to the right path. Fortunately, although Im in the hard situation, but Allah never brings me to 'dangerous-path' and never gives me hopeless-feel for a long time. That feel just comes for 30 minutes. Then, He gives me such a strong spirit again. He makes me wanna know who's my creator more, who's Allah more. He opens my mind to learn everything about Islam. This is so embarassing, Im muslim, but I still get less knowledges about my own religion, how poor I am.
Suddenly, I followed some Islam Knowledge-Account on Instagram, I followed many Udztadz-Udztadzah's Account on twitter and Instagram, I watched Muslimah Vloggers on Ytb that makes me inspired by their story about their struggle to get know more about Islam, till make me wanna be an Hafidzah. The last one is too much I think. But, I want to be like what Wirda Mansur said in her vlog. Quran is the key of the world. If we make Quran as our life compass, we can open the world and world is in our grasp. I was born with an ambitious-soul and it makes me tired cuz if I am failed, it makes me so stressed. If we trust Allah and let Allah decides what our future gonna be, of course there's no need to worry.
After I did the 'SBMPTN-Test' last April and got a 'bad-news' in last June, I didnt know what I've to do. Yes, Im an unemployment. I was stressed since that bad news was out till last July. In the first week, I always felt hurt for no reason, I always hear some bad words from people around me, I always cried in the night, sit down at the corner of my room with the dark-light and the locked-door. Many bad-thoughts always came into my mind. I thought that SBMPTN was my last reason why I have to live in this world. Once I got failure, I was so stressed. I want live my life happily. Just that.
My Failure moment makes me so stressed. But, Allah has different answer. Allah will give my success to me, but not for now. He opens my mind, my heart, my soul, my point of view, everything in me. Things that I had trusted that those were right apparently WRONG. He makes me live my life becomes calm now. Actually, that is what I need, it's enough. Now, I know how to live with much feel thankful. Theres no thing I have to envious about anymore except being better like what Wirda Mansur, Muzammil, Hamas Syahid, Gita Savitri, Bella Almira do.
I dont wanna be 'WORLD SERVANT' anymore. 18years8months Ive colonized by world, its time for me to be independent. And Allah gives me Independence-soul soooo easily. Alhamdulillaah. Thank you for everything youve given to me, Ya Allah. I trust You are exist, I trust ISLAM is true religion. I pray may I always be istiqomah in Your Way. Aamiin Ya Rabbal Alamin. I just have to trust that everything happens for a reason and I believe that Ill be success.
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